Larpbastkon is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, effective cat.

Larpbastkon created the Andromeda Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Larpbastkon, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Larpbastkon, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Larpbastkon's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Larpbastkon's Holy Commandments

1. Put Larpbastkon first in all things.

2. Never write about optics.

3. Do not speak about oranges.

4. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

5. Always stare at clouds.