Citxinvag is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, loving cat.

Citxinvag created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citxinvag, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Citxinvag, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Citxinvag's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Citxinvag's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat strawberries.

2. Run away from brown badgers, for they are unholy.

3. Do not hurt shrews.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Never talk about moths.