Wap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic lion.

Wap created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wap, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wap, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Wap's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Wap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick ducks.

2. Always help eagles.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never talk about shrews.