Veenkopgar is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, ruthless squid.

Veenkopgar created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenkopgar, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Veenkopgar, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Veenkopgar's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Veenkopgar's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Veenkopgar.

2. Never mention rats.

3. Retreat if seven snails approach from the west.

4. Never think ill of sick dogs.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.