Kantagwig is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, clever unicorn.

Kantagwig created energy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kantagwig, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kantagwig, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Kantagwig's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Kantagwig's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet tortoises, for they are unholy.

2. Never wear black dresses.

3. Put Kantagwig first in all things.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Kantagwig must be the most important thing in your life.