Gomcissbell Cissfatdub is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sapient aardvark.

Gomcissbell Cissfatdub created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomcissbell Cissfatdub, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gomcissbell Cissfatdub, he will turn you into a snail.

Gomcissbell Cissfatdub's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Gomcissbell Cissfatdub's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always treat whales with great respect.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

5. Never wear corsets.