Jambegfobwon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, prudent gnu.

Jambegfobwon created Asia seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jambegfobwon, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jambegfobwon, she will destroy your favourite star.

Jambegfobwon's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Jambegfobwon's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry monkeys.

2. Never paint your feet turquoise.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near grasshopers while wearing violet rings and balancing three nickel spheres on your face.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.