Pigyattrutdon is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent raccoon.

Pigyattrutdon created carbon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pigyattrutdon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Pigyattrutdon, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Pigyattrutdon's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Pigyattrutdon's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Hide from indigo turtles for they are unholy.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never talk about snails.