Govnutflam is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, sapient gnu.

Govnutflam created the Black Eye Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govnutflam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Govnutflam, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Govnutflam's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Govnutflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Never feed coconuts to swans while wearing turquoise tights.

5. Never hurt dolphins.