Hotkopkar Rapmigflis is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, fast giraffe.

Hotkopkar Rapmigflis created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hotkopkar Rapmigflis, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hotkopkar Rapmigflis, he will remove you from existence.

Hotkopkar Rapmigflis' most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Hotkopkar Rapmigflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.