Fumzednak is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, stupid guinea pig.

Fumzednak created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumzednak, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fumzednak, he will strike you with lightening.

Fumzednak's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Fumzednak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not speak about pineapples.

5. Never think about quantum field theory.