Larpnegyart is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, slow troll.

Larpnegyart created tapeworms five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpnegyart, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Larpnegyart, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Larpnegyart's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Larpnegyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest red.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Put Larpnegyart first in all things.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bread.