Gumartsan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, quiet yak.

Gumartsan created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumartsan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gumartsan, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gumartsan's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Gumartsan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never write about quantum gravity.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.