Bafmilfom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, uncaring giraffe.

Bafmilfom created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafmilfom, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bafmilfom, it will turn you into a rock.

Bafmilfom's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bafmilfom's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Bafmilfom.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never wear mauve stockings.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always help sick seals.