Hoghapyog is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unjust squirrel.

Hoghapyog created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Hoghapyog, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hoghapyog, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Hoghapyog's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Hoghapyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill squirrels.

2. Never talk about mice.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Run away if nine horses approach from the north.