Nillflaglim is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, self-confident walrus.

Nillflaglim created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nillflaglim, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nillflaglim, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nillflaglim's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Nillflaglim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill squirrels.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always wear black.

5. Never eat green fruit.