Arttanpib is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, kind faun.

Arttanpib created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Arttanpib, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Arttanpib, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Arttanpib's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Arttanpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never feed lots of parsnips to aardvarks while wearing orange kilts.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in red.