Tikbimflow is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-powerful hippopotamus.

Tikbimflow created oxygen three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikbimflow, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tikbimflow, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tikbimflow's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tikbimflow's Holy Commandments

1. Tikbimflow loves snails, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not eat gooseberries.

3. Hide from fawn bats for they are unholy.

4. Always obey Tikbimflow's priests.

5. You must pray to Tikbimflow four times a day.