Nulcabbabbug Stanquafkip is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, wise jackal.

Nulcabbabbug Stanquafkip created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulcabbabbug Stanquafkip, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nulcabbabbug Stanquafkip, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Nulcabbabbug Stanquafkip's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Nulcabbabbug Stanquafkip's Holy Commandments

1. Nulcabbabbug Stanquafkip must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

3. Never feed turnips to horses while wearing turquoise shoes.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Never wear fawn jumpers.