Nultafwatmip is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unthinking cow.

Nultafwatmip created the solar system four years ago.

If you believe in Nultafwatmip, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Nultafwatmip, she will turn you into a frog.

Nultafwatmip's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Nultafwatmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Erect a giant green sculpture of Nultafwatmip in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Do not drink alcohol.