Wikyakarpjipontgeb is a god.

It takes the form of a small, passionate aardvark.

Wikyakarpjipontgeb created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikyakarpjipontgeb, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Wikyakarpjipontgeb, it will think nothing of it.

Wikyakarpjipontgeb's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Wikyakarpjipontgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat whales with great respect.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Do not chop down trees.