Yartomflab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, dishonest skunk.

Yartomflab created a down quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yartomflab, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yartomflab, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Yartomflab's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Yartomflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Yartomflab in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never think ill of sick nematodes.