Bonkhadjig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, all-knowing dolphin.

Bonkhadjig created the Sombrero Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bonkhadjig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bonkhadjig, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bonkhadjig's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Bonkhadjig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near cats while wearing violet boots and balancing six carbon spheres on your chest.

3. Never feed lots of garlic to tapirs while wearing indigo tights.

4. Never mention bats.

5. Fast once a month.