Bafzakwad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust hippopotamus.

Bafzakwad created carbon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bafzakwad, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bafzakwad, it will turn you into a slug.

Bafzakwad's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Bafzakwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your face white.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near ants while wearing fawn tights and balancing five zinc spheres on your arms.

3. Do not hurt hamsters.

4. Never wear indigo dresses.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Bafzakwad in the centre of the settlement.