Kiplanged is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, calm yak.

Kiplanged created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiplanged, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kiplanged, it will destroy your home solar system.

Kiplanged's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Kiplanged's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Kiplanged.

5. Do not trade with those who eat corn.