Linquafzig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, astonishing fairy.

Linquafzig created a bottom quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linquafzig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Linquafzig, he will be mildly annoyed.

Linquafzig's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Linquafzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near hamsters while wearing turquoise shirts.

2. Run away from indigo dolphins, for they are unholy.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.