Tenboptonk is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humane alligator.

Tenboptonk created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tenboptonk, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tenboptonk, it will torture you forever.

Tenboptonk's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Tenboptonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not eat carrots.

3. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Tenboptonk in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not speak about rice.