Dapsandhim is a god.

She takes the form of a large, almighty goat.

Dapsandhim created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dapsandhim, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dapsandhim, she will torture you forever.

Dapsandhim's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Dapsandhim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never feed lots of bananas to mice while wearing white skirts.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near foxes while wearing mauve rings and balancing three copper spheres on your hands.