Fotgongebrap is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, loving shark.

Fotgongebrap created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fotgongebrap, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fotgongebrap, he will destroy your home solar system.

Fotgongebrap's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Fotgongebrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back violet.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. You must love Fotgongebrap.