Flamjadingjen is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, benevolent slug.

Flamjadingjen created the Black Eye Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamjadingjen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flamjadingjen, he will jump up and down on your head.

Flamjadingjen's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Flamjadingjen's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five dogs approach from the east.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help pigs in need.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

5. Never eat melons.