Latpaswad is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, benevolent hydra.

Latpaswad created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Latpaswad, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Latpaswad, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Latpaswad's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Latpaswad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Never hurt monkeys.

5. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Latpaswad on top of all buildings.