Rattenflan is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, humane armadillo.

Rattenflan created light four years ago.

If you believe in Rattenflan, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rattenflan, she will jump up and down on your head.

Rattenflan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Rattenflan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near swans while wearing green hats.