Flapfabnell is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unsympathetic beaver.

Flapfabnell created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapfabnell, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Flapfabnell, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Flapfabnell's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Flapfabnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tapirs.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. You must never eat lemons.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.