Zodlidgatgan Barnvinsagbotsterhimmet is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, strong tapir.

Zodlidgatgan Barnvinsagbotsterhimmet created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodlidgatgan Barnvinsagbotsterhimmet, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zodlidgatgan Barnvinsagbotsterhimmet, it will turn you into a goat.

Zodlidgatgan Barnvinsagbotsterhimmet's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Zodlidgatgan Barnvinsagbotsterhimmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about goats.

2. Never think ill of sick cats.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Zodlidgatgan Barnvinsagbotsterhimmet on top of all buildings.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Nematodes are not to be trusted.