Jabbogfom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome narwhal.

Jabbogfom created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabbogfom, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jabbogfom, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jabbogfom's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Jabbogfom's Holy Commandments

1. Put Jabbogfom first in all things.

2. Always obey Jabbogfom's priests.

3. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jabbogfom.

5. Do not speak about lentils.