Fliskikmum is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, merciless armadillo.

Fliskikmum created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fliskikmum, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fliskikmum, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fliskikmum's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Fliskikmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear indigo clothing.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

3. Always help otters in need.

4. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

5. You must pray to Fliskikmum six times a day.