Sagpinyak is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, moody fly.

Sagpinyak created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sagpinyak, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sagpinyak, it will turn you into a puffin.

Sagpinyak's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Sagpinyak's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured bats.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never eat bark.