Hoggepnarlvagquamgengov is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, two-faced crocodile.

Hoggepnarlvagquamgengov created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hoggepnarlvagquamgengov, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hoggepnarlvagquamgengov, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Hoggepnarlvagquamgengov's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Hoggepnarlvagquamgengov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Hoggepnarlvagquamgengov must be the most important thing in your life.

4. You must never eat strawberries.

5. Pray towards the west.