Sabvagwab Tagnartgonkonkaptit Besstarp is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omniscient walrus.

Sabvagwab Tagnartgonkonkaptit Besstarp created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sabvagwab Tagnartgonkonkaptit Besstarp, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sabvagwab Tagnartgonkonkaptit Besstarp, it will not care at all.

Sabvagwab Tagnartgonkonkaptit Besstarp's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Sabvagwab Tagnartgonkonkaptit Besstarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Feed all hungry sheep.

4. Never talk about special relativity.

5. Always take life seriously.