Xucflabquag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, awe-inspiring mouse.

Xucflabquag created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xucflabquag, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xucflabquag, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Xucflabquag's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Xucflabquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about thermodynamics.

2. Do not keep five birds in a large pit.

3. Always help sick tortoises.

4. You must pray to Xucflabquag eight times a day.

5. Do not chop down trees.