Badfonfly is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, self-assured otter.

Badfonfly created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Badfonfly, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Badfonfly, it will cry a lot.

Badfonfly's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Badfonfly's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never talk about gravity near great tits while wearing black jumpers.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.