Narlmitfarquat Flattunwap is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, slow aardvark.

Narlmitfarquat Flattunwap created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Narlmitfarquat Flattunwap, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Narlmitfarquat Flattunwap, it will jump up and down on your head.

Narlmitfarquat Flattunwap's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Narlmitfarquat Flattunwap's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not eat melons.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Never sit in the presence of porpoises.

5. Never play with disobedient children.