Bapgabnarl Nartcudfar is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, capable dugong.

Bapgabnarl Nartcudfar created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapgabnarl Nartcudfar, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bapgabnarl Nartcudfar, he will turn you into a dog.

Bapgabnarl Nartcudfar's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Bapgabnarl Nartcudfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

4. Bapgabnarl Nartcudfar must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always pray immersed in water.