Apptunomt is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, caring hamster.

Apptunomt created water four billion years ago.

If you believe in Apptunomt, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Apptunomt, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Apptunomt's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Apptunomt's Holy Commandments

1. Apptunomt loves voles, so they must be honoured.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never eat strawberries.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Always help sick squirrels.