Bonklegbast is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, caring hamster.

Bonklegbast created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonklegbast, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bonklegbast, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bonklegbast's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bonklegbast's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry geese.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Do not dye your hair violet.

4. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Bonklegbast in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.