Gutmutbot is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, narcissistic tapir.

Gutmutbot created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutmutbot, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gutmutbot, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gutmutbot's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Gutmutbot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your feet.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

3. Never eat cherries.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always look after injured dogs.