Gamtonbus is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, confident narwhal.

Gamtonbus created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamtonbus, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gamtonbus, she will turn you into a plant.

Gamtonbus' most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Gamtonbus' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Gamtonbus eight times a day.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Do not make images of living things.