Fetbissmet is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, boastful finch.

Fetbissmet created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetbissmet, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fetbissmet, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fetbissmet's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Fetbissmet's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about planets.