Yartbussid is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, deceitful newt.

Yartbussid created a top quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Yartbussid, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yartbussid, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Yartbussid's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Yartbussid's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never mention otters.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near geese while wearing green coats.