Som is a god.

He takes the form of a small, contented warg.

Som created the planet Saturn four million years ago.

If you believe in Som, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Som, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Som's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Som's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt shrews.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never think about dark matter near grasshopers while wearing white scarves and balancing eight zinc spheres on your chest.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

5. Run away if seven voles approach from the north.